Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP): My Progress Six Months In

Six months ago, I shared my early experience of the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP). Since then, I’ve continued working slowly through the Core phase, learning to listen to my nervous system instead of pushing past its limits. In this post, I’m sharing my Safe and Sound Protocol progress after six months and reflecting on the small but meaningful changes I’ve noticed along the way.

Starting the Core Phase

The Core phase has been a longer journey than I had first anticipated when I started. Before beginning, I had read online that most people complete the whole SSP journey in about three months. I found myself wondering why my progress felt so slow.

Looking back, I realise that I shouldn’t have compared my journey to anyone else’s. Every nervous system is different, and SSP is designed to be adjusted to what feels manageable for you. Moving more slowly doesn’t mean you’re doing it “wrong”. In fact, pushing ahead before your nervous system is ready could make the process less beneficial.

The Core phase involves five hours of listening in total. During the first few hours, I experienced a lot of emotional ups and downs and periods of dysregulation. Because of that, I often listened for just one or two minutes every other day. It didn’t feel like much at the time, but it was what my nervous system could tolerate, and I’m really glad I didn’t push myself beyond that.

Learning to Listen to My Nervous System

A lot of old emotions were randomly coming up in my body with no warning. It felt uncomfortable, scary and out of my control. I was allowing the emotions to be there and not pushing them away, but it was hard. I wanted to slip back into my old ways of pushing them down, but I resisted.

The emotions were definitely old feelings. It’s hard to explain how I knew, but I could just tell. I recognised them from before when I was younger and really struggling to cope with life. Through the process of sitting with my emotions more, I feel like I’ve really grown to love myself in a much bigger way than I had done previously. I have so much self-compassion, gratitude and am incredibly proud of myself.

Little Wins That Showed Me I Was Changing

Around halfway through the Core phase, I experienced a very overwhelming holiday. After I came back from holiday, I noticed that I hadn’t got mad or frustrated at myself for having to reduce the amount of SSP listening that I was doing. This is such a huge milestone for me.

Having ME/CFS and fibromyalgia has caused me a long-standing mental struggle where I’ve felt guilty and frustrated at myself for having to pace my activities. SSP has taught me to be kinder with myself and it’s helped me approach my chronic illnesses from a different perspective.

Shortly after the holiday, I had a few other little wins. I was commuting to work and started listening to music whilst on the train for the first time in years. I would usually have my noise cancelling headphones on, but not listen to anything because I find it too overwhelming. My nervous system must have had a little more capacity and wanted to listen to the music.

A few days later, I was meeting up with a friend in Glastonbury. My drive there was riddled with road closures, diversions and single track lanes, which turned into being stuck at the scene of an accident for quite a while.

On the same journey, a warning light came on in my car for the tyre pressure. I found a petrol station, but had to wait for the person before me using the tyre pressure machine for over 15 minutes. When I finally made it to Glastonbury, I then spent about 20 minutes trying to find a parking space.

The journey was quite a lot to cope with, but I dealt with it surprisingly well. I was much less panicked than I would have been a few months prior and was still able to enjoy my day. I was proud of myself. I also spoke up when I felt like I needed to go home. Usually I would just carry on because I wouldn’t want to upset whoever I was with. Such a growth moment for me.

Progress Through the Core Phase

I’ve worked my way through Core, slowly but surely. The last couple of hours, I was able to manage 5 minutes at a time, every other day.

I’ve been getting a bit annoyed with the playlist that I had initially selected. I’d noticed that some of the voices on the tracks didn’t sound like the originals. It’s not advised to change the playlist during Core so I’ve stuck with the one I selected and am going to change playlist when I move onto the third phase, Balance.

Looking Back Six Months In

By the end of Core, I have really noticed some big changes in myself. I’m able to cope better in overwhelming circumstances, I’m less up and down at home, and I’m generally feeling happier in myself. Gone are the regular meltdowns multiple times per week when things get too much. Now, I still get them but much less regularly. On top of that, I know my limitations more and am feeling more confident to communicate them with other people.

I’ll share another update once I’ve completed the Balance phase and finished the Safe and Sound Protocol.

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Much love,

Rachael xx

The Invisible Onion